Month: March 2025

In a shocking and frankly bewildering move, Apple has reportedly partnered with Swedish furniture giant IKEA to design the UI for iOS 19! Insiders claim the goal is to create a “modular,” “user-assembleable” interface. Early mockups reveal a “flatpack” design aesthetic, with users expected to “build” their own home screen layouts using digital Allen keys … Read more

Prepare for a Memoji-pocalypse! Leaked documents reveal Apple’s boldest move yet: iOS 19 will replace all app icons with animated Memojis! Imagine your Messages app icon as your own personalized Memoji winking at you, or your Photos app icon bursting with Memoji laughter. While undeniably “expressive,” tech analysts are sounding the alarm. Early simulations suggest … Read more

Breaking News! Apple’s groundbreaking, paradigm-shifting, earth-shattering iOS 19 is… delayed. Yes, the update so revolutionary it was rumored to rewrite the laws of physics is apparently just too revolutionary for 2025. Sources whisper that the sheer magnitude of innovation contained within iOS 19 is causing “temporal anomalies” and “existential dread” among beta testers. To protect … Read more

Sources inside Apple Park reveal the secret behind the iOS 19 redesign: Mad Libs! Apparently, the design team, bored with actual design, decided to let fate (and a fill-in-the-blank game) dictate the future of iOS. Leaked Mad Libs snippets include: “We will replace the [ADJECTIVE] Control Center with a [NOUN] inspired by [PLURAL NOUN] from … Read more

WWDC 2025 is looming, and insider sources have leaked the official Bingo card! Get ready to play along as Tim Cook and co. unveil iOS 19 and the future of Apple. Key squares include: “Cohesive Ecosystem Vision” (guaranteed to be mentioned at least 5 times), “Revolutionary AI-Powered Siri” (even though it’s probably still confused by … Read more

Forget AI! Forget foldable screens! The real innovation in iOS 19 is here: “Random Icon Shuffling!” Yes, you read that right. Apple is reportedly set to unleash a feature so groundbreaking, so disruptive, it will redefine how we use our phones. Imagine: every time you unlock your iPhone, your app icons are in a completely … Read more

Brace yourselves! Apple, in a move that screams “innovation,” has announced iOS 19. Prepare for groundbreaking features like… wait for it… slightly rounder app icons! And get this – they’re bringing back the skeuomorphic design trend from 2012, but ironically! Yes, folks, iOS 19 is set to be a nostalgic trip down memory lane, repackaged … Read more

Disclaimer: No, this will not happen, ever. Please continue to play responsibly. Sony has revealed that its next PS5 Pro update will include a “Win the Lottery” mini-game, where players can potentially unlock real-world lottery prizes. By harnessing the power of AMD’s FSR 4 technology, the PS5 Pro will simulate various lottery draws in high-definition … Read more

Disclaimer: This is a joke—time travel via video games is not a feature of any real console. In what might be the most ridiculous claim ever made by a major tech company, AMD has apparently developed a way to unlock time travel using its cutting-edge FSR 4 technology. But before you get too excited, there’s … Read more

Disclaimer: This is a parody based on an exaggerated version of future console technology. PS5 Pro’s upcoming updates will allow it to take over your Wi-Fi duties, providing faster and more reliable gaming experiences directly from your console. Yes, you read that right. The upcoming “Network Dominance” feature will let your PS5 Pro connect directly … Read more